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My mom's list of flying do's and don'ts By DAFFYD RODERICK December 1, 2000 Web posted at 10:40 a.m. Hong Kong time, 9:40 p.m. EDT The next time I fly long haul, I'm bringing my mother with me. I've had it with rude people, and I'm fairly sure my mom is the only person capable of sorting them out.
• Sit the hell down. "Why do people have to stand in the aisle like idiots while everyone else is trying to get on?" Mom's solution: "Take your coat off while you're waiting in the lounge to take-off and get your book out." • Don't be Uncle Bob. "Drunk people are irritating. People get offered free alcohol and all of a sudden it's like your Uncle Bob at a family wedding." Enough said. • Don't be Aunt Mildred. "Why do trolley dollies keep offering people so much booze? It's like that sister of your father's...always pushing the whisky." Drinkers will always "hab-a-nudder"...so just quit asking, for Pete's sake. • Shut up already. "There's nothing worse than someone trying to talk to you when you're trying to read. Take a hint," mom says. If the passenger beside you simply nods and looks back to her book, she's not feeling chatty and neither should you. • Mother says share. "There's nothing worse than an armrest hog." • Quiet please, mom's sleeping. "They won't like me very much if they wake me up." • Chew with your mouth closed. "There's nothing more grotesque than poor table manners, even if it is only airplane food." • Be nice to mothers. "Flying with children is horrible, especially your own." Ouch! But mom has a point. If you think it sucks to have that baby on board, think about how the parents feel about it. • Ladies first, please. "If the men would just stay seated, I could get off the plane a lot quicker." Ticked off at Asia Buzz? Turned on? Talk back to TIME Write to TIME at mail@web.timeasia.com Search for recent Asia Buzz
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